"Two months ago, I got a refund check for my student loans. I said that as soon as the money was gone, I would be too. I’ve drank over a thousand dollars worth of alcohol, and it wasn’t the expensive stuff.
I’m down to my last fifteen dollars. I’m on my way to the store now to buy the stuff to kill myself with.
I’ve said that I’m going to do it before on here, but my racing heart, the logic telling me that dying is right, the gutter I purposely through my life into all says that it’s time.
For two months, I’ve slept with countless guys I met offline. We never used condoms, and one guy I know had an STD. But I stopped caring what happened to my body because I knew I wasn’t going to need it. I chugged alcohol hoping for alcohol poisoning. I’ve mixed alcohol and pain pills. I stopped going to class or even caring. I’ve done everything to screw my life up just for motivation for tonight.
If my family or friends read this, then know I’m very sorry. But nobody can say that I didn’t try to fight for my life. I died in January when I gave up. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I’m so, so sorry. Please don’t ever hate me."
Source: http://suicideproject.org/2010/03/postsecret/
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I just want to die...but I don't wanna be the one to do it
"When I was pregnant, I was talked to by my gynie guy's nurses about my history, as it all should be. I explained to them when I was 14 I became depressed, self-mutilated and attempted suicide twice (must not have really been attempts because neither landed me in the hospital).
They told me that with my history I would, at an almost 100% chance, have postpartum depression and that they would make sure to find out how I was feeling at all my postpartum check-ups.
So, I have my daughter on February 13, 2009. I'm fine in the hospital, I'm fine while staying with my mother. Hell, I'm even fine at home by myself with the baby. Then May comes, along with a doctor's visit. I feel SO horrible and SO depressed that I'm not a good enough mother and my money is disappearing and virtually gone and I haven't even really had to pay for a sitter yet. Her dad's only around when convenient and I just can't shake this feeling she'd be better off without me. He tells me I can't take antidepressants but I was not to give up pop since it may be the only thing keeping me from being seriously depressed. I wasn't suicidal then I just didn't know how I was going to make it and pull through. But I did.
Then October comes, and I found out they're closing my site and moving it to another state and now I'm going to be jobless come May. Despite all this being terrible luck, I'm still okay.
In July, I had found out my aunt and uncle were planning on moving to Nebraska. I lived with/near them just about my whole life. And they were leaving, taking my cousins (who are more like sisters to me anyways) with them. But they finally made it seriously official, with an official date, in December. They were going to be leaving on my daughter's first birthday and miss her birthday party. This upset me.
Now I'm going to stop here before you think all this led to my current situation. It doesn't. All this just made the situation worse, but as you can see in the beginning, it's not the cause.
For the past two months, I've been overwhelmed. Crying at the drop of a hat, which has scared SO many people because I am not that type of person. Some days are better than others and on my best days I can appear to be functioning like everyone around me. Other days, they ask why I'm so quiet or what's wrong.
Last Wednesday, I cut again. I haven't since, but that's the first time since July 2007. I wanted to die so badly on Wednesday that I really felt at any point in time I could just drop dead and then maybe I could finally be happy. Now...I wouldn't really say I'm suicidal. I would say I wish for death. For me to say I'm suicidal would imply that I want to or feel I need to kill myself. That's not the case. I just want to die...but I don't wanna be the one to do it.
Since I'm in the job transition, I'm starting a new job soon and plan on getting professional help as soon as my insurance kicks in. I just had to get this off my chest now.
Have you experienced postpartum depression? How did you treat the depression? At what point is it not postpartum depression?"
Source: http://www.momaroo.com/723317591/at-what-point-is-it-not-postpartum/
They told me that with my history I would, at an almost 100% chance, have postpartum depression and that they would make sure to find out how I was feeling at all my postpartum check-ups.
So, I have my daughter on February 13, 2009. I'm fine in the hospital, I'm fine while staying with my mother. Hell, I'm even fine at home by myself with the baby. Then May comes, along with a doctor's visit. I feel SO horrible and SO depressed that I'm not a good enough mother and my money is disappearing and virtually gone and I haven't even really had to pay for a sitter yet. Her dad's only around when convenient and I just can't shake this feeling she'd be better off without me. He tells me I can't take antidepressants but I was not to give up pop since it may be the only thing keeping me from being seriously depressed. I wasn't suicidal then I just didn't know how I was going to make it and pull through. But I did.
Then October comes, and I found out they're closing my site and moving it to another state and now I'm going to be jobless come May. Despite all this being terrible luck, I'm still okay.
In July, I had found out my aunt and uncle were planning on moving to Nebraska. I lived with/near them just about my whole life. And they were leaving, taking my cousins (who are more like sisters to me anyways) with them. But they finally made it seriously official, with an official date, in December. They were going to be leaving on my daughter's first birthday and miss her birthday party. This upset me.
Now I'm going to stop here before you think all this led to my current situation. It doesn't. All this just made the situation worse, but as you can see in the beginning, it's not the cause.
For the past two months, I've been overwhelmed. Crying at the drop of a hat, which has scared SO many people because I am not that type of person. Some days are better than others and on my best days I can appear to be functioning like everyone around me. Other days, they ask why I'm so quiet or what's wrong.
Last Wednesday, I cut again. I haven't since, but that's the first time since July 2007. I wanted to die so badly on Wednesday that I really felt at any point in time I could just drop dead and then maybe I could finally be happy. Now...I wouldn't really say I'm suicidal. I would say I wish for death. For me to say I'm suicidal would imply that I want to or feel I need to kill myself. That's not the case. I just want to die...but I don't wanna be the one to do it.
Since I'm in the job transition, I'm starting a new job soon and plan on getting professional help as soon as my insurance kicks in. I just had to get this off my chest now.
Have you experienced postpartum depression? How did you treat the depression? At what point is it not postpartum depression?"
Source: http://www.momaroo.com/723317591/at-what-point-is-it-not-postpartum/
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Nothing is important to me anymore
"ok…so theres just alot of crap thats been going on my whole life, and im 15 and because of this i never had a childhood or a teenagehood and i grew up really fast and now im 15 and i take on to much i put these burdons on my back because i feel like i have to i have a duty to my family! and just these last 2 days ive felt like theres something in my head ready to explode and i can literally feel the pressure and i get really really bad tension headaches and i get anxious and scared about random stuff! and im not eating properly…meaning barely at all. i just feel like ive held it together for so long and kept it inside but now the cracks are showing and im scared because i feel crazy! really crazy but i dont like see or hear or smell things that arent there or anything its just im scared im gonna go crazy!
amnyway ill tell you whats actually wrong
summary:
brother and sister born with aspergers, adhd and other types of autism (skipped me)
got beat up by older brother, sometyimes younger sister (when i was a kid for example, hitting, punching, kicking,choking,throwing against walls ect..)
mother cliniically depressed…vegetable on couch, we dont talk, i say i love her she ignores me and says nothing, when i speak i might as well not bother, i dont want to see her clinically depressed anymore! i use to hear her cry, and thats the last thing a child wants their mother to be doing.
dad and me, best friends, but he is sad because mum is always taking his money and he works everyday then comes home and cooks and cleans and i try to help but he dosent notice and i dont want to see him sad anymore
my brotehr is disowned by my dad because he quit school stole 2 thousand doallrs form my dad twice and dad paid heaps of money to get him help but then sam got lazy and he wont get a job or anything and he smokes and all this other crap and he is also clinically depressed!
i help them in everyway i can! but i cant take a break from thinking abotu it cause that is selfish of me, to think of myself, and i dont get along with people my age and i dont want to
nothing is important to me anymore i dont want to do anything and things that were important to me arent anymore
and my mum has binge eating disorder and my dad exercises to the point were its dangerous and this has made me confused! and now im anorexic because i find my mother and food disgusting!
im not sure wether to be mad or sad or feel sorry for my mum and i think abot it aLL THE TIME! and thats whats confusing me! i want a mum! i want my dad back! *tears* sigh…and im moving schools next year going into year 9 and you know…i went from a sorta safe environment (at school that is
) to a not so safe one…its the summer holidays and…i have to much time to think and i cant live at my friends house!…and im always scared that someones going to kill themselves! sriously…and i just…i donno feel liek there should be something i can do although im doing everything i can! and i want my dad to leave my mum and i would go witht him because he deserves better but then i miss my bro and sis cause they will stay with her and she’ll think i dont love her and get even more depressed which i dont knwo how that is possible but i guess it is! and leik shes alresady tried to kill herself a few times! and once they did split and dad was alone becuase i couldnt live iwth him because he worked alot but now its NOT the day after my eleventh birthday im 151 i can take care of myself….sigh…
i feel trapped and chlosteraphobic, im never going to get out of this cycle you knwo the one thats like “im so selfish if i do anything for myself, this is my responsibity it will always be,fun!? excuse me who said you could have fun, not to mention why do you want fun your barely a teenager, you werent even a kid!” that cycle, and im lonely because…i just want a mum i would give up every once of sanity for them to be happy! i just them to be happy so bad…i dont want ot see them sad anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but they will always be that way…i dont even knwo how many times my mother has been to a phycologist or how many tablets shes on or how many times shes over dosed! and my dad had to go it alone while i was to young! and he bitches about my mum to my neighbours and thats just…not good, my mother is a child! and im the adult, its alwyas been that way. she didnt even earn to read or write or do anything becuase her parents neglected her which is what shes doing to me, i mean my siblings did need her more but i need her! i mean i could ener have her! i could ebevr do dancing til this year becuase of financial problems i sacrificed everything all my life, to amke it a little bit more convenient for them and thats why im moving schools because its easier for my mum because she can sleep in 20 minutes longer because shes happy when she sleeps!…
do you now see why my head is going to explode!?
help…amnd councellors are off limits because that w
would mean that my parents would find out! and that unnecessary stress and sadness and inconvenience i dont want to give them. sorry about my typos…i got overwhelmed…"
Source: http://www.howdoigetmydadoffdrugs.com/2010/03/10/ok-i-think-im-on-the-verge-of-a-mental-breakdownplease-please-help/
amnyway ill tell you whats actually wrong
summary:
brother and sister born with aspergers, adhd and other types of autism (skipped me)
got beat up by older brother, sometyimes younger sister (when i was a kid for example, hitting, punching, kicking,choking,throwing against walls ect..)
mother cliniically depressed…vegetable on couch, we dont talk, i say i love her she ignores me and says nothing, when i speak i might as well not bother, i dont want to see her clinically depressed anymore! i use to hear her cry, and thats the last thing a child wants their mother to be doing.
dad and me, best friends, but he is sad because mum is always taking his money and he works everyday then comes home and cooks and cleans and i try to help but he dosent notice and i dont want to see him sad anymore
my brotehr is disowned by my dad because he quit school stole 2 thousand doallrs form my dad twice and dad paid heaps of money to get him help but then sam got lazy and he wont get a job or anything and he smokes and all this other crap and he is also clinically depressed!
i help them in everyway i can! but i cant take a break from thinking abotu it cause that is selfish of me, to think of myself, and i dont get along with people my age and i dont want to
nothing is important to me anymore i dont want to do anything and things that were important to me arent anymore
and my mum has binge eating disorder and my dad exercises to the point were its dangerous and this has made me confused! and now im anorexic because i find my mother and food disgusting!
im not sure wether to be mad or sad or feel sorry for my mum and i think abot it aLL THE TIME! and thats whats confusing me! i want a mum! i want my dad back! *tears* sigh…and im moving schools next year going into year 9 and you know…i went from a sorta safe environment (at school that is
) to a not so safe one…its the summer holidays and…i have to much time to think and i cant live at my friends house!…and im always scared that someones going to kill themselves! sriously…and i just…i donno feel liek there should be something i can do although im doing everything i can! and i want my dad to leave my mum and i would go witht him because he deserves better but then i miss my bro and sis cause they will stay with her and she’ll think i dont love her and get even more depressed which i dont knwo how that is possible but i guess it is! and leik shes alresady tried to kill herself a few times! and once they did split and dad was alone becuase i couldnt live iwth him because he worked alot but now its NOT the day after my eleventh birthday im 151 i can take care of myself….sigh…
i feel trapped and chlosteraphobic, im never going to get out of this cycle you knwo the one thats like “im so selfish if i do anything for myself, this is my responsibity it will always be,fun!? excuse me who said you could have fun, not to mention why do you want fun your barely a teenager, you werent even a kid!” that cycle, and im lonely because…i just want a mum i would give up every once of sanity for them to be happy! i just them to be happy so bad…i dont want ot see them sad anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but they will always be that way…i dont even knwo how many times my mother has been to a phycologist or how many tablets shes on or how many times shes over dosed! and my dad had to go it alone while i was to young! and he bitches about my mum to my neighbours and thats just…not good, my mother is a child! and im the adult, its alwyas been that way. she didnt even earn to read or write or do anything becuase her parents neglected her which is what shes doing to me, i mean my siblings did need her more but i need her! i mean i could ener have her! i could ebevr do dancing til this year becuase of financial problems i sacrificed everything all my life, to amke it a little bit more convenient for them and thats why im moving schools because its easier for my mum because she can sleep in 20 minutes longer because shes happy when she sleeps!…
do you now see why my head is going to explode!?
help…amnd councellors are off limits because that w
would mean that my parents would find out! and that unnecessary stress and sadness and inconvenience i dont want to give them. sorry about my typos…i got overwhelmed…"
Source: http://www.howdoigetmydadoffdrugs.com/2010/03/10/ok-i-think-im-on-the-verge-of-a-mental-breakdownplease-please-help/
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Maybe I’ll just kill myself
"I think I have depression.
This isn’t something I’ve really thought seriously about before. I’ve always been treated like someone who’s in a bad mood or whatever, so I’ve always thought about myself as being ‘normal’ but at the same time someone who’s failing. A normal person who’s failing.
But, I can’t be normal. I can’t see how everyone else is just like me and can just brush everything to one side and be happy.
I’m rarely happy. A few things will momentarily make me very happy, but most of the time I’m not that way. Most of the time I’m not even sad… more… empty.
The old I get the more I find I just don’t care about anything. Social conventions, being popular, making an effort, eating properly, keeping clean, having a relationship, working hard… it’s all such a struggle because I just don’t care about any of it.
I used to. Or I thought I did. But now I could care less. I just want to pack up a laptop and some clothes and I want to run away from my life and just move to another country. Until my visitor via runs out, then I’d just go somewhere else.
As it is, I can’t do this. Not because of money - I work from home and I could go anywhere.
But because somehow I’ve gotten myself into the situation where I’m five months from getting married and my soon-to-be-wife is too ill, and seems to love me too much, to cope with me leaving.
I don’t feel much any more, but one emotion I can’t escape is guilt. And I don’t have the energy to actually end things and have to go through all the stress and guilt that comes with breaking up with someone. I’ve done it before, with my ex who I left to be with my current fiance, and I’ve not been the same since.
So, I’m stuck. I’m heading loveless into a marriage that I’m already switched off from, hoping that each day will be the one that brings to me the solution to end all my troubles, because I’m too depressed to work things out myself.
I just want to be free. I don’t want anyone any more. I want to be by myself. All my life I’ve been conditioned by the world around me to find love, find a soul mate, have kids, get married, make the marriage work… fuck all of that. Who fucking cares? All people do is hold you back, get you down or break your heart. No one can ever be happy when they put faith in someone else. You can only trust yourself.
It’s a pity I couldn’t have worked this out 12 years ago before embarking on a string of relationships that I thought I wanted, but, actually, when I think outside the box, I really don’t.
So am I depressed? If I had the time to work things out, would I be able to want to be in love again and have someone? Or do I have everything worked out right now?
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just kill myself."
Source: http://confessions.grouphug.us/confessions/950331498
This isn’t something I’ve really thought seriously about before. I’ve always been treated like someone who’s in a bad mood or whatever, so I’ve always thought about myself as being ‘normal’ but at the same time someone who’s failing. A normal person who’s failing.
But, I can’t be normal. I can’t see how everyone else is just like me and can just brush everything to one side and be happy.
I’m rarely happy. A few things will momentarily make me very happy, but most of the time I’m not that way. Most of the time I’m not even sad… more… empty.
The old I get the more I find I just don’t care about anything. Social conventions, being popular, making an effort, eating properly, keeping clean, having a relationship, working hard… it’s all such a struggle because I just don’t care about any of it.
I used to. Or I thought I did. But now I could care less. I just want to pack up a laptop and some clothes and I want to run away from my life and just move to another country. Until my visitor via runs out, then I’d just go somewhere else.
As it is, I can’t do this. Not because of money - I work from home and I could go anywhere.
But because somehow I’ve gotten myself into the situation where I’m five months from getting married and my soon-to-be-wife is too ill, and seems to love me too much, to cope with me leaving.
I don’t feel much any more, but one emotion I can’t escape is guilt. And I don’t have the energy to actually end things and have to go through all the stress and guilt that comes with breaking up with someone. I’ve done it before, with my ex who I left to be with my current fiance, and I’ve not been the same since.
So, I’m stuck. I’m heading loveless into a marriage that I’m already switched off from, hoping that each day will be the one that brings to me the solution to end all my troubles, because I’m too depressed to work things out myself.
I just want to be free. I don’t want anyone any more. I want to be by myself. All my life I’ve been conditioned by the world around me to find love, find a soul mate, have kids, get married, make the marriage work… fuck all of that. Who fucking cares? All people do is hold you back, get you down or break your heart. No one can ever be happy when they put faith in someone else. You can only trust yourself.
It’s a pity I couldn’t have worked this out 12 years ago before embarking on a string of relationships that I thought I wanted, but, actually, when I think outside the box, I really don’t.
So am I depressed? If I had the time to work things out, would I be able to want to be in love again and have someone? Or do I have everything worked out right now?
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just kill myself."
Source: http://confessions.grouphug.us/confessions/950331498
Monday, March 8, 2010
I’m 15 years old and tried to off myself a few weeks ago
"I’m 15 years old and tried to off myself a few weeks ago.
I write about everything in my diary, including a suicide note and how I tried to kill myself and how I started cutting. Well, me and my mom got into a fight one day, and she said that if I don’t tell her why I was going down this destructive path, then she would read my Diary. After she started reading I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to cry and panic. I basically freaked out. My mom calmed me down and started crying with me and holding me and telling e everything would be okay. So lets see whats happened to me:
It all started Sophomore year.
In November I had just confessed to my mom tht my step dad molested me for a year when I was 11. (By this time he was living in another state)
My Grandmother died two days before christmas from natural causes.
My older sister died less than a month afterward.
My step dad was found is in jail at the moment. I might end up having to testify at the court date which is about a year from now.
One of my best friends just suddenly dropped me and stoped talking to me. Not wanting to friends anymore. When I tried to talk to her about it she just said that she had a bad feeling about me.
My grades dropped severely and when my mom found out I was no longer allowed to be a part of the family. I ate dinner by myself in the kitchen and stayed in my room the rest of the day.
I then couldnt take it anymore and made a plan to kill myself that night using pills. So that way no one would find me since everyone would be asleep. I talked myself out of it.
Well I’m going to get help soon. There are two options:
Anti-depressants or
Inpatient Therapy.
Is it okay for me to want inpatient therapy? I mean, I want to talk about my feelings to my friends and other people my age, but I cant at school because I dont want to come off as an attention whore.
P.S. I do see a counselor every week. But the week I wanted to die, she was on vacation….."
Source: http://www.antiagingarticles.cn/?p=4173
I write about everything in my diary, including a suicide note and how I tried to kill myself and how I started cutting. Well, me and my mom got into a fight one day, and she said that if I don’t tell her why I was going down this destructive path, then she would read my Diary. After she started reading I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to cry and panic. I basically freaked out. My mom calmed me down and started crying with me and holding me and telling e everything would be okay. So lets see whats happened to me:
It all started Sophomore year.
In November I had just confessed to my mom tht my step dad molested me for a year when I was 11. (By this time he was living in another state)
My Grandmother died two days before christmas from natural causes.
My older sister died less than a month afterward.
My step dad was found is in jail at the moment. I might end up having to testify at the court date which is about a year from now.
One of my best friends just suddenly dropped me and stoped talking to me. Not wanting to friends anymore. When I tried to talk to her about it she just said that she had a bad feeling about me.
My grades dropped severely and when my mom found out I was no longer allowed to be a part of the family. I ate dinner by myself in the kitchen and stayed in my room the rest of the day.
I then couldnt take it anymore and made a plan to kill myself that night using pills. So that way no one would find me since everyone would be asleep. I talked myself out of it.
Well I’m going to get help soon. There are two options:
Anti-depressants or
Inpatient Therapy.
Is it okay for me to want inpatient therapy? I mean, I want to talk about my feelings to my friends and other people my age, but I cant at school because I dont want to come off as an attention whore.
P.S. I do see a counselor every week. But the week I wanted to die, she was on vacation….."
Source: http://www.antiagingarticles.cn/?p=4173
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I sleep on thorns
"Hello sleeping in the middle of doing assignments! I need to get myself a table filled with thorns so that when I do fell asleep, I sleep on thorns. Slept while thinking of possible designs for an… apse. But forget that. I had a disturbing dream. One that might or might not reflect my current mental state. Even before anything happened, I was already aware I was in a dream. Or at least, I should have been considering I was seeing myself. I was sitting on my bed, Japanese style and oddly enough, wondering, how good it would be to die. Regrets? I had none. So, MAGICALLY, I brought up my hand which wield a kitchen knife and held the handle with both my hands with the blade facing towards my chest. Oddly enough yet again, I was thinking, I wonder if it hurts, but that though quickly got thrown to the side with just a, oh well, I’ll die soon anyway, and with a slight hesitation, I brought the knife to my chest and I even wondered, should I scream? It’s painful. I thought it was wise for me to scream but it seemed laughable so I just slumped to one side and waited for the pain to subside. Rather than my vision disappearing hazily, it was suddenly all black. My eyes were still open though (mind you, as stated before I was looking at myself). It felt so nice just lying there in that place. The black felt comforting and the void, reassuring.
And THAT, was when I got back to reality, waking up in front of my laptop, with a pencil in hand. I kind of pondered but I don’t think I’m that depressed enough to kill myself yet but the thought of not needing to worry about things anymore and the comfort and satisfaction felt when I was lying there in that realm of black felt right. Wouldn’t it be boring just lying down in a place where darkness and light did not exist? Just you, and all the black. But in the dream, it felt right. I didn’t have any regrets, I didn’t have any lingering feelings, I felt not happiness, not sadness but just a state of calmness.
No, I still have far too much to do before I leave this world :)
But, maybe I am depressed…"
Source: http://nanas.gla-la-lam.com/?p=343
And THAT, was when I got back to reality, waking up in front of my laptop, with a pencil in hand. I kind of pondered but I don’t think I’m that depressed enough to kill myself yet but the thought of not needing to worry about things anymore and the comfort and satisfaction felt when I was lying there in that realm of black felt right. Wouldn’t it be boring just lying down in a place where darkness and light did not exist? Just you, and all the black. But in the dream, it felt right. I didn’t have any regrets, I didn’t have any lingering feelings, I felt not happiness, not sadness but just a state of calmness.
No, I still have far too much to do before I leave this world :)
But, maybe I am depressed…"
Source: http://nanas.gla-la-lam.com/?p=343
Saturday, March 6, 2010
I'm slowly losing my mind
"It feels like I'm slowly losing my mind. I don't know how to explain this. I still have a firm grip on reality, though. I don't know...I honestly can't explain it. I think I've been having some suicidal ideation, but I'm not sure. I have not been feeling like I want to do it. It's not really an option for me, but I've been curious about it. I don't really want to commit suicide...I don't want to die. I guess I want to just sell everything and go somewhere far away. Start over. I feel like everyone in my life has caused me some sort of pain and they just aren't worth it right now. I'm very disappointed with my life and how it has turned out. I'm almost 30 and I have nothing. No family of my own, no relationship (I think I inadvertetnly destroyed my last and most meaningful one). In the past two years, I have blown over $15,000 in savings trying to support me and my ex after she lost her job. I live paycheck to paycheck on a very good salary. I have maxed out credit cards that were previously payed off and can't even afford to make the minimum payments. I now have a strained relationship with my family when we had a wonderful relationship. I'm in school and I have absolutely no drive to complete my assignments. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and am now seriously considering medication because I don't think I can do it on my own anymore. I feel like I can't function as an adult. I feel like I can't do anything right. If I'm cleaning the house, everything else falls to the wayside. If I'm working on my finances, then the house is not clean. Why can't I do what it is that I'm supposed to do as an adult?? It's embarrasing and I'm tired of being ashamed of myself. I don't know what is happening to me, but I'm so tired of it. I just want to start over. I want to cut ties with everyone and just walk away. I think it would be better, and I almost don't care what anyone else would think or feel about it. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. It's so hard. I'm tired of being in constant pain. I'm tired of no one understanding me. I'm tired of the crying...I wish I could just turn my emotions off. Nobody else cares, so why do I have to? Why can't I be as uncaring as everyone else???"
Source: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/Time-I-ve-Admitted-This-t43737.html
Source: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/Time-I-ve-Admitted-This-t43737.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)