I’m trying to get out of the crowd but people keep pushing me

"I may sound conceited but I feel like everyone else in this world is fucking retarded. There are so many things I just don’t understand about people. Why would you believe in religion? It’s just something people made up to explain everything. Why can’t people just say I don’t know? I don’t understand why people want to wear nice clothing, do their hair, all that stupid extraneous stuff. My parents keep trying to convince me that if I don’t have money, I’ll be miserable. Half the students in my school are all selfish people who just want to look good in front of others by getting g/bfs. The other half just want to have sex with as many people as possible. That wouldn’t be so bad because it’s a natural human instinct, but they do it so selfishly alienating everyone else around them.

I am 17 years old about to go to college and my life seems like it would be good, and it should be making me happy. But the thing is, it’s not. I have absolutely no love for my parents or friends. I want someone to talk to, but I don’t want to talk to just anyone. I want to talk to someone who thinks like me, because I’ve never seen a single person who says the things I say. I play video games and watch anime all day locked up in my room just eating junk food and sodas. Everyone keeps saying I’m just obsessed, but in reality, it’s just the fact that nothing else interests me. Everything is boring, and on the internet, you’re completely anonymous and you meet so many interesting people. People in real life hide everything and just do things to impress others. I’m not interested in girls either. It would be nice to have sex and all, but in the end it doesn’t matter to me.

But the reason I’m writing this is because I feel like I want to die. I feel like I’m in a crowded hallway. Everyone’s rushing to one side full of fake shiny things and I’m trying to get out of the crowd but people keep pushing me towards the shiny things. My parents keep telling me that I have to go to a good college and get a nice house and a nice car, or I’ll regret it. I don’t care about that stuff though. My friends keep telling me to do some drugs and get some girls, but I don’t care about that stuff. It’s all fake.

If you want to contact me and have a similar opinion as me, my email is thisemailisfake249@gmail.com . I have a fake email because I have a very rational fear that people will find my personal information from my real email address and send me to a psychologist or a hospital."

Source: http://suicideproject.org/archives/2009/08/08/i-may-sound-conceited/