I can't go through the day without picking myself apart, and it drives me crazy

"I'm at the point where i really don't know who else to go to. I feel like i have tried to talk to everyone close to me about how i feel, and no one understands. I have serious self esteem issues, have for almost four years now. I cry almost every single night and i really don't feel like i have any reason for living. I'm nothing special, i have no talents and i feel like im going to amount to nothing. I hate everything about myself. There isn't one thing i can say that i like. I have told my mom these exact feelings, and she acts like its nothing. She tells me im a beautiful girl and i have nothing to worry about. Shes my mom, of course she thinks that. She doesn't understand how much it effects me. I have even told her i think about suicide a lot, and all she said was "don't go suicidal on me" and continued to tell me how its a selfish act. It made me feel 100 times worse about myself. I have tried to tell my friends about my insecurities, but all they say is "i get the same way sometimes too." I don't think they do to the extent that i do, since they seem perfectly happy with themselves. I can't go through the day without picking myself apart, and it drives me crazy. I feel so insecure and i just want to disappear. I don't want to end my life necessarily, but i do want it to happen naturally. I don't want to live anymore. Not like this, not as myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I have told my mom i want to talk to a therapist, but she still has not said anything about it. No one understands the severity of how i feel, but inside its tearing me apart. I feel like the ugliest girl alive, with a no good personality. How will i ever make it in the world? I don't want to be alone, i don't want to fail, i don't want to be ME. What do i need to do to show the people close to me how upset i really am? Suicide feels like the only way. I want out. I don't want to hurt anyone, but i don't want to live like this. I will never be comfortable being me. I hate how i look, and i hate the person i am. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like im wasting my life feeling like this, but theres nothing i can do to help it. I compare myself to everyone around me, and i always lose in the end. I just feel so depressed every single day. And theres no one to go to anymore. I don't know what to do, i despise myself."

Source: http://answers.psychcentral.com/Depression/depressed-and-dont-know-who-to-go-to--/