If we had any decent alcohol, I'd drink myself to death

"I'm so sick of being alone...

I would kill for someone to love me...

Anyone...

I'm so sick of trying to talk to my mom about it and having her say "I love you." When she knows that's not the kind of love I'm talking about.

I just want someone so bad...

Michelle broke up with me...

She said she needed time to get her head on straight.

I agree. I mean, she just got out of a treatment center because she was seeing and hearing things...

But that was from the meds she was on...

I just want someone so bad...

Sometimes I think about just finding someone who wants to fuck me and throw me away. It shouldn't be too hard to find...

But then again, who wants to fuck me? I'm ugly, annoying, and just plain fucked up.

It's gotten to the point where I don't want to listen to love songs...

They just piss me off or make me sad.

Even songs about sex set me off.

I hate it.

I FUCKING HATE IT!!!

Maybe I should've just let my ex rape me. Who the fuck would care anyways?

I'm crying now...

I wish I could kill myself...

But swallowing pills makes me gag...

I don't like pain. (Unless it's in a very kinky situation)

And I don't have any place to hang myself from...

I hate water. So drowning's out as well.

Maybe I could get a lot of coke or heroin and snort it all...

But I don't know where to get any.

So that's out...

If we had any decent alcohol, I'd drink myself to death.

Any ideas anyone?

Anyone? No? No?

Damn. C'mon, people, get creative!"

Source: http://strawberrysnack.livejournal.com/