"I have a bad problem with cutting and breaking my arms. I'm so depressed all the time that it's a everyday thing. I want to stop but i can't the depression is just so bad its like i can't live with out doing it. I broke my arm last night and almost my leg to. I just don't know what to do anymore"
Source: http://www.teenhut.net/depression-self-harm-suicide/90208-i-need-help-badly.html
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I feel alone
"Hello..I have been dealing with depression for many years by myself.I hide it from my wife ab family because I don't want to burden them with my problems.I have a family that loves me but yet I feel alone."
Source: http://www.secrettalk.com/secrets/i-have-lost-the-will-to-live/14336824/
Source: http://www.secrettalk.com/secrets/i-have-lost-the-will-to-live/14336824/
Friday, February 12, 2010
I really need a help!
"I want to kill myself. What is the easiest way to do that? I just can't take it anymore. Life is pointless for me. But I am not sure how to die. To cut my veins or to take too much drugs... Why I want to die? Well, I am a creative person and I've always wanted to be a designer or an illustrator. I can draw very good. But my parents think that this is a bad job, and didn't let me go to the designer program. They want me to be a nurse, because they think this is the best job in the world. I hate everything related to medicine and I've never wanted to be a nurse. They were yelling at me, not talking to me, hurting me with words when I told them that I don't want to be a nurse. So my parents forced me to go to the practical nursing program. It's week five of my studying and I hate this program. It's not interesting and difficult for me! I feel so depressed. I don't want to be a nurse. I tried to talk about it with my parents but they just didn't listen to me. They said I wouldn't be their daughter if I quit this nursing program. So, I just don't know what to do... Now I just want to die. Every day I feel worse and worse. I can't study on this program anymore. Please tell me how should I kill myself? I really need a help!"
Source: http://answers.psychcentral.com/Depression/i-want-to-die-what-is-the-easiest-way-to-do-that/
Source: http://answers.psychcentral.com/Depression/i-want-to-die-what-is-the-easiest-way-to-do-that/
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Everything inside of me is almost frozen and eerily still
"I feel so subdued, though I can hear my heart’s still beating but I can no longer feel a thing. My mind finally stopped wandering but my soul ceased to feel any kind of desire – everything inside of me is almost frozen and eerily still. I hardly recognized my own self – the me I know bleeds emotionally to death but now I’m just almost hollow.
The scars engraved on my wrists no longer remind me of my pain. They’re just as insignificant as my futile suicide attempt & as pointless as my life. It feels as though I’m in a buffer zone where everything is so indifferent and it made me feel so vacant. I am the void that will swallow everything about me, anything around me into total nothingness, exactly like what a black hole does.
Everytime I gaze into the mirror, I take a good look at myself – just to ensure that I haven’t vanished, I touch my cheeks, my lips everytime just to corroborate that I am real, that I can still feel physical touch. Last nite, I decided to read my old journals just to revive the pain that has damaged me before. There’s a saying, when you can still feel the pain, you at least know that you’re somehow alive. And so, I did just the same thing. I could feel my tears flowing as soon as I opened my old journal but my heart just felt so numb. What’s wrong with me now?
Am I on my way to full recovery or it’s just another vicious cycle that I have to go thru after yet another full-blown depression? I seriously can’t tell the difference this time when everything is so hazy, when I don’t even know my self… "
Source: http://suicideproject.org/2010/02/need-an-angel-to-heal-me/
The scars engraved on my wrists no longer remind me of my pain. They’re just as insignificant as my futile suicide attempt & as pointless as my life. It feels as though I’m in a buffer zone where everything is so indifferent and it made me feel so vacant. I am the void that will swallow everything about me, anything around me into total nothingness, exactly like what a black hole does.
Everytime I gaze into the mirror, I take a good look at myself – just to ensure that I haven’t vanished, I touch my cheeks, my lips everytime just to corroborate that I am real, that I can still feel physical touch. Last nite, I decided to read my old journals just to revive the pain that has damaged me before. There’s a saying, when you can still feel the pain, you at least know that you’re somehow alive. And so, I did just the same thing. I could feel my tears flowing as soon as I opened my old journal but my heart just felt so numb. What’s wrong with me now?
Am I on my way to full recovery or it’s just another vicious cycle that I have to go thru after yet another full-blown depression? I seriously can’t tell the difference this time when everything is so hazy, when I don’t even know my self… "
Source: http://suicideproject.org/2010/02/need-an-angel-to-heal-me/
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Fuck you world
"I'm not depresed or anything. I just can't continue to live in this world of stupidity. Stupid people stupid things it's all stupid!
Fuck you world."
Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/b0j4n/good_bye_stupid_world/
Fuck you world."
Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/b0j4n/good_bye_stupid_world/
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Stuck with too much hell on my plate
"It was his birthday. They said I looked depressed.
Another day I let slip through my fingers. (I went to the bathroom stall...it was my period after all)
I contemplated how I'd fuck it up later (not him of course....no I'm not a whore)
No, I was seriously just kidding myself (because who else was I but ignored?)
I thought about the white not black. The spaces that I lacked. or....
He pretended to pay for my tab. 15 dollars or more
And then I walked back while he followed me up the road
To tell me I deserved to live not die
Like a movie....but not one I could even write
"Snitch!" The students yelled. It was mostly Patrick.
If I have issues, one of them is that I'm not really a loud mouth.
But what do you do, when the police confront you?
Rudy says that it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason....
(so why did I accidentally call my dad when Rudy was giving me his number?
How did that happen? It must've meant something....
But my dad was worried. He said he heard the conversation
But he never said stay away from that man...he just said "He sounded concerned")
I admit I've been burned
On thursday they searched my room, and took me to the police station.
Confined me in a room and interrogated me about who sold me----
and it came tumbling out like all the prescription pills....
That I'm vowing to no longer take. They say "you're empty"
I'm no Sylvia Plath, and ovens are not cool to me.
And people can tell when I'm baked.
You get too lost in yourself, too vain, and your veins run dry.
I'll never take drugs again...20 people are my enemy.
I left the bar at about 11 pm. And Rudy ran after me
He caught up and caught his breath and he's 15 years older than I
He told me, never give up....because he thought I was going to
Kill myself? Well when people harass you so much
You'd like to do it sometimes, but I'm someone else
And I don't kill myself because of what people say or do.
They can laugh, make fun of me. They deserve their punishments
And I'm glad they're in trouble because they don't deserve
My sticking up for them....when it's 3 am again and I'm awake
Stuck with too much hell on my plate
Attempted murder, acid, alcohol, pot, suicide,
I'll skip out on the ride. What's on the inside?"
Source: http://jaggedpilldiaries.blogspot.com/
Another day I let slip through my fingers. (I went to the bathroom stall...it was my period after all)
I contemplated how I'd fuck it up later (not him of course....no I'm not a whore)
No, I was seriously just kidding myself (because who else was I but ignored?)
I thought about the white not black. The spaces that I lacked. or....
He pretended to pay for my tab. 15 dollars or more
And then I walked back while he followed me up the road
To tell me I deserved to live not die
Like a movie....but not one I could even write
"Snitch!" The students yelled. It was mostly Patrick.
If I have issues, one of them is that I'm not really a loud mouth.
But what do you do, when the police confront you?
Rudy says that it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason....
(so why did I accidentally call my dad when Rudy was giving me his number?
How did that happen? It must've meant something....
But my dad was worried. He said he heard the conversation
But he never said stay away from that man...he just said "He sounded concerned")
I admit I've been burned
On thursday they searched my room, and took me to the police station.
Confined me in a room and interrogated me about who sold me----
and it came tumbling out like all the prescription pills....
That I'm vowing to no longer take. They say "you're empty"
I'm no Sylvia Plath, and ovens are not cool to me.
And people can tell when I'm baked.
You get too lost in yourself, too vain, and your veins run dry.
I'll never take drugs again...20 people are my enemy.
I left the bar at about 11 pm. And Rudy ran after me
He caught up and caught his breath and he's 15 years older than I
He told me, never give up....because he thought I was going to
Kill myself? Well when people harass you so much
You'd like to do it sometimes, but I'm someone else
And I don't kill myself because of what people say or do.
They can laugh, make fun of me. They deserve their punishments
And I'm glad they're in trouble because they don't deserve
My sticking up for them....when it's 3 am again and I'm awake
Stuck with too much hell on my plate
Attempted murder, acid, alcohol, pot, suicide,
I'll skip out on the ride. What's on the inside?"
Source: http://jaggedpilldiaries.blogspot.com/
Monday, February 8, 2010
I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m practically drowning in my own thoughts.
"So…
I am 14 years old and female. I’m not stupid; I’m in all honors classes and maintain an A or a B in all my classes. I play guitar, piano, and violin. My three only friends. However, I am probably the most annoying, awkward, nervous, pessimistic, selfish, confused, creepy, lonely person ever. I am your all-around piece of shit person. Here I go again talking about myself….I have severe ADD and have had an anxiety disorder since I was 6. I can’t even do the simplest tasks without being a complete awkward failure. It’s hard to explain. I start shaking before tests and quizzes and I have panic attacks if the hallway is too crowded. When I like a guy, he knows it, because I space out and stare at him and act like a totally clumsy creep. I had crushes that liked me back, but I am such a freak, that when they tried to talk to me I ran away. What the hell is wrong with me? Any who, the thing about me hating people….
I hate humans. It’s not being hypocritical because I include myself in my hate list.
I was raped when I was 11. Enough said. My mom used to verbally abuse me I guess you’d say, when my anxiety was at it’s peak when I was 8 and I’d start regurgitating. She’d tell me I was "stupid" and a "mistake" and "ugly on the inside" in some horrifying yelling voice. I don’t have a dad. I have always been a loyal friend you know, and supported them and such. Every friend I’ve ever had has screwed me over. For example, one of my friends started doing cocaine, I tried to get her to realize she was being self-destructive, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried to stick with her, but she went off to a crowd of druggie kids. All the other friends I’ve had in the past left me to hang out with the popular crowd and what not. So now I’m just a lonely bitch. I live in sort of a bad area I guess. Sort of a snobby rich kid area. I refuse to be slutty or do drugs so that basically turns people against me. There are some good people, but I’m just too…awkward. I get bullied a lot by guys mostly. I eat lunch in the bathroom. I’m too chicken to even attempt killing myself. I’m just one of God’s mistakes.
You probably think I’m being over dramatic or whatever, but thats just my pessimistic, annoying, self shining through.
So… should I kill myself?
Run away?
Sell myself to science?
Befriend nature?
I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m practically drowning in my own thoughts.
Suggest whatever you want because I’m that desperate."
Source: http://www.mypanicattacksolution.com/blog/panic-attack-quiz/i-vehemently-hate-myself-i-hate-everyone-i-hate-humans
I am 14 years old and female. I’m not stupid; I’m in all honors classes and maintain an A or a B in all my classes. I play guitar, piano, and violin. My three only friends. However, I am probably the most annoying, awkward, nervous, pessimistic, selfish, confused, creepy, lonely person ever. I am your all-around piece of shit person. Here I go again talking about myself….I have severe ADD and have had an anxiety disorder since I was 6. I can’t even do the simplest tasks without being a complete awkward failure. It’s hard to explain. I start shaking before tests and quizzes and I have panic attacks if the hallway is too crowded. When I like a guy, he knows it, because I space out and stare at him and act like a totally clumsy creep. I had crushes that liked me back, but I am such a freak, that when they tried to talk to me I ran away. What the hell is wrong with me? Any who, the thing about me hating people….
I hate humans. It’s not being hypocritical because I include myself in my hate list.
I was raped when I was 11. Enough said. My mom used to verbally abuse me I guess you’d say, when my anxiety was at it’s peak when I was 8 and I’d start regurgitating. She’d tell me I was "stupid" and a "mistake" and "ugly on the inside" in some horrifying yelling voice. I don’t have a dad. I have always been a loyal friend you know, and supported them and such. Every friend I’ve ever had has screwed me over. For example, one of my friends started doing cocaine, I tried to get her to realize she was being self-destructive, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried to stick with her, but she went off to a crowd of druggie kids. All the other friends I’ve had in the past left me to hang out with the popular crowd and what not. So now I’m just a lonely bitch. I live in sort of a bad area I guess. Sort of a snobby rich kid area. I refuse to be slutty or do drugs so that basically turns people against me. There are some good people, but I’m just too…awkward. I get bullied a lot by guys mostly. I eat lunch in the bathroom. I’m too chicken to even attempt killing myself. I’m just one of God’s mistakes.
You probably think I’m being over dramatic or whatever, but thats just my pessimistic, annoying, self shining through.
So… should I kill myself?
Run away?
Sell myself to science?
Befriend nature?
I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m practically drowning in my own thoughts.
Suggest whatever you want because I’m that desperate."
Source: http://www.mypanicattacksolution.com/blog/panic-attack-quiz/i-vehemently-hate-myself-i-hate-everyone-i-hate-humans
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