I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m practically drowning in my own thoughts.

"So…
I am 14 years old and female. I’m not stupid; I’m in all honors classes and maintain an A or a B in all my classes. I play guitar, piano, and violin. My three only friends. However, I am probably the most annoying, awkward, nervous, pessimistic, selfish, confused, creepy, lonely person ever. I am your all-around piece of shit person. Here I go again talking about myself….I have severe ADD and have had an anxiety disorder since I was 6. I can’t even do the simplest tasks without being a complete awkward failure. It’s hard to explain. I start shaking before tests and quizzes and I have panic attacks if the hallway is too crowded. When I like a guy, he knows it, because I space out and stare at him and act like a totally clumsy creep. I had crushes that liked me back, but I am such a freak, that when they tried to talk to me I ran away. What the hell is wrong with me? Any who, the thing about me hating people….

I hate humans. It’s not being hypocritical because I include myself in my hate list.
I was raped when I was 11. Enough said. My mom used to verbally abuse me I guess you’d say, when my anxiety was at it’s peak when I was 8 and I’d start regurgitating. She’d tell me I was "stupid" and a "mistake" and "ugly on the inside" in some horrifying yelling voice. I don’t have a dad. I have always been a loyal friend you know, and supported them and such. Every friend I’ve ever had has screwed me over. For example, one of my friends started doing cocaine, I tried to get her to realize she was being self-destructive, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried to stick with her, but she went off to a crowd of druggie kids. All the other friends I’ve had in the past left me to hang out with the popular crowd and what not. So now I’m just a lonely bitch. I live in sort of a bad area I guess. Sort of a snobby rich kid area. I refuse to be slutty or do drugs so that basically turns people against me. There are some good people, but I’m just too…awkward. I get bullied a lot by guys mostly. I eat lunch in the bathroom. I’m too chicken to even attempt killing myself. I’m just one of God’s mistakes.

You probably think I’m being over dramatic or whatever, but thats just my pessimistic, annoying, self shining through.
So… should I kill myself?
Run away?
Sell myself to science?
Befriend nature?

I don’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I’m practically drowning in my own thoughts.
Suggest whatever you want because I’m that desperate."

Source: http://www.mypanicattacksolution.com/blog/panic-attack-quiz/i-vehemently-hate-myself-i-hate-everyone-i-hate-humans