Goodbye

"Mom - Maybe one day you will grow up and realize you have to take care of yourself and your kids. Living off of unemployment is not acceptable. Everyone else grew up and faced the world, and it's past time you do the same. I'm sorry that I'm such a bad son and do nothing to help you (except work to earn money while you sit on your ass).

Dad - I hope you enjoy your wealth while mom and I are struggling to keep a roof over our heads. I hope that maybe, just maybe, you yourself will be in our situation one day and be scoffed at just like us. I hope that if you have any more children, you will let them make their own choices and not try to mold them into the asshole you are. I hope you are happy with your decision to not help me out at all with college, yet pay for all of your idiot step-daughter's college. I hope you are happy knowing that your son will never amount to anything and will not make anything of himself because he can't get on his feet alone. Also, you claim to be a hardcore Christian, yet you don't think about anyone but yourself. I hope you can stop being a baby one of these days. I hope you will learn to stop being a hypocrite.

Sarah - I hate you. I really do. I told you I wanted you to be happy, but that was a lie. It's just not fair. It's not fair that I was in love with you for four years - and I do mean "love" as in thinking of no one else and wanting only to be with you, not "loving" your asshole boyfriend a month after meeting him. I mean the love that takes years to grow and develop, and is the strongest emotion in the world. It's not fair that after four years, when you finally realized we should date, you cheated on me within a month and left your "best friend" in the dust. It's not fair how I gave you my all for all those years and was there for you no matter what, that you could turn on me without so much as a backwards glance. It's just not fair how I still love you.

Ashley - I'm sorry. Sure we kissed when I was drunk, and I wanted to like you. I really did. I'm sorry that I pretended to be interested in you and promised you all those things, only for you to find out the truth and be crushed. I'm sorry that I used you to try to get my mind off of Sarah. I'm sorry that I can't move on even after 9 months. I'm sorry you can't ever find the right guy, even though you thought you finally had.

Sam and Chris - I can't believe I was so foolish as to put up with your shit for so long. Sure you guys are my "best friends", but only when no one popular is around. I can't believe I let you guys talk down to me and act like you're so much better than me for the past three years. I never truly felt accepted, and I guess I never was. I can't believe I let you guys use me all those times, and never help me when I needed it the most. I can't believe I thought you were my friends.

God, if there even is one - Why is it that you let your most devoted followers lead a life of hell? Why is it that when I needed you most, you had forsaken me and my life went downhill fast? Why is it that though you claim to be a "loving God", millions of people are starving or tortured or heartbroken or anything else disastrous? Why is it that our prayers affect other people? If someone is dying and our prayers help them, does that mean you would have just let them die unless someone pleaded with you not to? Why is there so much evil in the world, when you could supposedly stop it all with a snap of your finger? Why do bad things happen to good people, yet evil people lead a happy, prosperous life? What will happen to me now...?

By the time they see these, I'll be out of their hair. I tried to figure out life for nineteen years, and it just never happened. I just can't deal with anything else. Goodbye."

Source: http://www.teenhut.net/depression-self-harm-suicide/72364-my-suicide-note.html