I have a plan

"I will find you in the crowded room. I will knock you off your feet. I will burn you just like teenage love. I will eat you just like meat. I will break you into pieces. Hold you up for all the world to see..."

I love that verse! I just have so much anger lately, that verse just sums it all up. I have no reason to be angry, but I am just filled with rage. I'm not sure why, I think much of it has to do with my anxiety.

Anyway, tomorrow my good friend Mandy is coming up from Milwaukee to stay with us for the weekend. I'm very excited, but also very nervous. I'm afraid I will have a breakdown or something while she is here and I don't want her to see it.. I guess I will just have to be very strong. Also this weekend are the Dragon Boat Races. I'm looking forward to that, I think. Yesterday I told Sal I didn't want to row anymore, but today I'm pretty excited about it. I guess we will have to see how I feel that day. Another thing is that the races mean insane amounts of drinking. I guess we are going for Bloody Marys at like 6 or 7am and then the rest of the day is beer, beer, and more beer until about 2:30am the next morning.. I know its not the best idea,. but I can't wait. Like I said I'm going to live my last few days like I want...

So I'm back on the meds. i had told Sal's sister, who is a Dr., that I stopped taking my meds and she kind of freaked out, so I'm taking them again. I guess I don't see why I should take them if they aren't working, but whatever.

So I have a plan... I have a date... I have a time... I have the supplies... I have the will... It will be done."

Source: http://www.thoughts.com/girl_in_limbo/blog/080609-353256/