Sunday, December 13, 2009

How i wish that i was dead

"im evolved around friends whom are very interesting to me... some annoying, some super shy, some talkative, some jokeful.... but it never come to my mind that some are weak that they tend to commit suicide as in kill them in order to live a peaceful live.... a friend of mine nearly did that on saturday night stating words of leaving this world making everyone panic and making me awake in the night while i was sleeping....

due to one break up it means end of the world to them.... i know i have no rights to say this but he is a guy and dont you think commiting sucide just for a guy you broke up with and what is more you yourself is a guy too *GAY* i would say this as rubbish... im not trying to make things worst but all this is really not worth it.... my friend told me that he has been trying to eat pills in order to sleep.... plan failed and now plan B.... what is this man... got up went on9 again and comfort him and tell him is not worth it and bla bla bla.... in the end i screwed him for doing such thing..... i shared with him my experience and all he said was sorry

at points i do have sucidal thoughts in me.... how i wish that i was dead now and to forget what is going on.... what im facing..... i do not only one suicidal thought but bountiful of them.... when im depressed i tend not to eat... make myself sick so that i wont be able to go out and meet ppl.... lock myself and just concentrate on my problems.... and in the end i not only hurt myself but the people around me....

if i wasnt a christian i might have just killed myself.... but thankfully i am and with the help of friends... i manage to get out of it.... anyway carving myself was actually part of my suicidal though hmmmmm but it leads to a scar which cannot be removed unless i purchased some scar removal product....

at times ppl do fall and that is when ppl need encouragement.... at times ppl success and hence pride comes which makes others dislike.... for more reason we need to be humble and balance it up.... it is a month of happiness as christmas is coming.... i do not wanna go through a month of crying and emoness around me..... MOVE ON PPL~~~~"

Source: http://boonmo.livejournal.com/11896.html