It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m finished. I’m done. I think I’ll just exit stage left.

"It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
I’m finished. I’m done. I think I’ll just exit stage left. I can’t deal with this bullshit of life anymore. I’m originally from the East Coast – Maryland, but I’m now living on the West Coast – California. I came out here because I was tired of my parents after high school, so I just left and tried to carve my own path – unsuccessfully. Throughout my life and up to high school since I graduated last year I have been treated like crap. I got no respect whatsoever in school. Every girl I knew rejected me even to go to the Senior Prom. I ended up not going.
All my friends went to college, while I didn’t. They lived out their dreams. I just ended up coming out here, miles away from an unsatisfactory existence in my old hometown. I thought I’d be happier here, but I’m not.
I’ll never forget when I told my parents I was driving to California to start a new life. My dad was reading the newspaper, and he was like “ok.” And continued. My mom was like “have fun.” When I left, they said goodbye. No hugs, no kisses. I’ve been in California since July of last year. The road trip was fun. I got no phone calls, no letters, no nothing from my parents. I haven’t talked to them since I left I guess it was true, they don’t like me. Apparently, I heard my grandpa say “Good riddance” and my parents basically said the same thing plus they’re glad I’m gone and out of their way.
Now, I work for a computer company out here in Silicon Valley, it’s alright. I can afford my own apartment and such. I still get treated like crap, even at work. I get disrespected so much by my coworkers.
This really beautiful chick I had my eye on for a while rejected me too and told me she was single, but ended up accepting another guy who asked her out after me.
Live just continues to suck. It seems like there’s nothing good that can come out of life anymore. I look at all these people who have great lives and I just envy them. I never got to have that. I never will. I can’t see how some people can be so happy by life. It sucks. It’s meaningless.
So, I proposed a solution. Since I’m 19, I went and got a gun. It’s a really powerful gun. I plan to just obliterate myself with it. Then this crappy life will be over and it will be great. Nonexistence is alot better than trying to survive this hell, day to day. There’s no point in living. My parents SURE don’t give a damn about me. I have no friends. I have no concrete reason to continue living. I have no hope.
I’ll just merge a bullet with my brain and then I’ll die here, 2000 miles away from home.
I don’t believe in God anymore either, so don’t give me that crap of “I’m going to hell”. I stopped believing in God last year.
I just felt like I needed to get this off of my chest before the end."

Source: http://siliconvalley10.cityspur.com/2009/12/01/i-cant-deal-with-this-anymore-2/