I see my destiny in death

"I'm a 14 years old fat boy I hate my life so much people always telling me that I have good feelings and (bla, bla, bla)`i have been regret by so many people in cluding my friends.One day we where planing a dance and the teacher gave me a couple that regret me because I was fat and he told the teacher that for dance with me she would ance with other fat guy in the class room.Since that day io feel depresive I have been thinking in death so many times.Since that moment I think in the past and I reaction that people have always been rejecting me.I have cut my-self I tried to kill with pills and I really dont feel good.I get depresive when people are apologyzing cause I know they dont care about my life.I really want to die and dont know what to do can someone gave me a recomendation please.I don't care for my life anymore I have visit profesional help and nothing please people help me.And I don't want people that tell me not to do it just need some people to share them stories and gave recomendations.I listen gothic music heavy metal I listen everything that put me down plz someone help me

If u guys know about my life u would say is a perfect life I have a girlfriend that I love 2 much I love my family I have 2 cousins one of 5 years old and the other 2 years =) but ultimately I'm always depressed I don't wanna live where I'm leaving I wanna get out of this country I have a grandmother that I love with all my heart the whole family of my dad and mom love me I have almost everything but I dont know why i'm always waning 2 kill my self I still listen that music wi m not dead because I dont have the strengh 2 kill myself because I know what I'm gonna do to killl my self and just that family and everything that I have keep me alive but I wanna die 100% I know I would hurt a lot of people but I see my destiny in death and I'm gonna think it again I think I would kill next week =( I was emo"

Source: http://www.secrettalk.com/secrets/idk-just-read-and-comment/14330141/