Nothing but this endless torture and pain, divorced parents and a broken family, and the betrayal of my boyfriend and a bleeding heart

"I am turning 19 next month and have been battling depression and social anxiety since 12. People say that everything is going to be fine one day and that I should keep holding on hope. LIES!!! I have been hoping that things would turn around someday for seven years. What is my reward? Nothing but this endless torture and pain, divorced parents and a broken family, and the betrayal of my boyfriend and a bleeding heart.

I am done with this life!!! I regret that I didn’t attempt my third suicide at 15 when I was so ready for it. I shouldn’t have listened to them and kept holding on hope. I am stupid and naive and have just deluded myself. Silly me!!!

I am here not for your sympathy or preaching, but only for efficient ways to die. I want it to look like an accident because I don’t want my family to know that it is a suicide and suffer from it. Any good ideas? Oh, I also wonder how to induce a heart attack in an easy way (e.g. which medicine). It is a good way to go. I appreciate your information in advance!"

Source: http://suicideproject.org/2009/11/seeking-a-way-to-die/