I just want someone to talk to, to understand what I feel to help me through this

"I just want to die, for years I’ve been thinking of suicide no one knows everyone sees me as care free and happy, my parents love me but i let them down I have a GF who loves me I’m not sure if shes it though I’ve messed up bad in school everytime I try it gets worse, I’m grade 12 but still doing grade 10 classes because I skip way to many days due to depression I say its because I’m sick, really all I want to do is die I’ve thought about ways to do it, easy quick ways but a part of me doesn’t want it, I can’t talk to anyone in my life about it they wouldn’t understand my life seems fine, but I’m just always depressed hatin every moment of life I just want someone to talk to, to understand what I feel to help me through this I turn 18 in 3 days I thought about doing it on my birthday, The only reason I haven’t I think is because I care to much about the people around me, I’m sorry this post is rambleing no one will even read this probally I just wanted to get it out….."

Source: http://suicideproject.org/2010/01/so-tired-3/